Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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