He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
its liver damage thursday
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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