Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
