did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
