I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
