I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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