Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
