doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
farters have to be the big spoon...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
