But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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