The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
