where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
