so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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