we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
