you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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