He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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