Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
