I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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