I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
