Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am one with the molecules
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
