I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
