While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
