Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
