1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
