Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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