You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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