All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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