Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
