So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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