I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
