You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
