I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
