The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
