worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
