We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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