I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
