Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
