oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
