so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
