It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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