Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
