what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
