In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
