I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just had sex bonerless
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
