I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
