The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
