Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think a kid would responsible me up
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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