Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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