At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
