): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
