Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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