We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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