If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
